Cover Letter
Dear Sir or Madam,
I once again find myself in a position that requires my seeking a means of earning wages and passing time. Idle hands are the devil's plaything, and though not very useful in typing or building my hands ought to be engaged, for Goodness' sake, in some or another business. I'm not very skilled with numbers, and therefore do not take notice of incorrect or insufficient payment in exchange for labor. I don't have a work ethic to speak of, as evidenced by a spotty resume that includes periods of un- and underemployment. I do hold a Bachelor of Arts degree, having studied works in the humanities, and know a bit about literature and art, though as yet no one has cared to request recital or application of this knowledge or way of knowing. I'm not at all strong or logical or practical. I'm neither a leader nor a team player. I am not a very clever problem solver, and when working independently my mind wanders hither and thither, far from the task at hand. In the course of a workday I can appear sweet, sincere and intelligent, though I would say as often I am sullen and sick, depressed and disengaged. I enjoy long lunch breaks, a quiet corner office with breathtaking view, an absent and often intoxicated boss, and European-style paid vacations. There are a very few things I do with no small amount of style and grace, and a particularly intrepid employer could find a certain satisfaction in my quotidian paid presence. Please feel free to reply if you have any further questions regarding my qualifications. Forged references available upon request.
Yours Sincerely,
Jillian Marie Raucci
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Comments
I'll hire you.
In an unrelated note: my brother ignored my request for your address, so your holiday card is sitting unaddressed on my dining room table.
Posted by: Elise | December 16, 2005 02:06 PM
Woah, I wes only going to leave a comment for Jillian, but now I have to leave one for Elise as well.
First Jillian though- The cover letter really describes my normal work day. Except for the corner office and intoxicated boss.
Second, Elise- I didn't ignore your request, I simply forgot about it. Also, I don't know their address.
Posted by: Dan | December 16, 2005 03:12 PM
wes=was
Posted by: Dan | December 16, 2005 03:12 PM
Dan - Fair enough
Jillian & Malcolm - consider this your holiday card
Posted by: Elise | December 17, 2005 12:40 AM
Not a chance Elise.
146 Bradley Street, #3. You know the rest. Shoot me an email too and let me know your address, malcolm@ultramalcolm.com
Posted by: Malcolm | December 17, 2005 12:46 AM
Well Done! This is the best cover letter I've ever read. Maybe if I was bit more forthcoming on mine, I'd have european style vacations instead of 2 weeks plus 1 "floating" holiday.
Posted by: danielle | December 18, 2005 02:42 PM