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Update! Bono Still a Total Asshole.

BonoFirst things first, here. We try and keep our mindless little posts relatively profanity-free, particularly in the titles. And friends, I did work hard to try and come up with a better, more mature way to describe my opinion of U2 frontman/world savior “Bono,” but I just couldn’t come up with anything that sums everything up so neatly. My apologies to any of you out there who may be in the unfortunate position of being children.

So, Blender has published their list of 50 Dumbest Rock Star Extravagances, and while Elvis and his peanut butter sandwiches was number one, I was much more fascinated by item number 12:

“Poised to play a charity show for Iraqis with Luciano Pavarotti in 2003, Bono realised he’d forgotten his favourite trilby, so he arranged to have it flown from London to Italy by British Airways. Amid fears it might get squashed, lost or stolen, the hat was upgraded from its first-class seat and got to ride up front with the captain.”

Ugh. There is so much wrong with everything just written there that I don’t know where to begin. A charity show? For Iraqis? With Luciano Pavarotti? And paying $1,700 to have his hat flown to him? Jesus! Remember when Motley Crue taught us that “rock star” behavior meant forcing a groupie to call her mother from a phone that was stuck in her ass? THAT is rock star indulgence! Forgetting your hat and having it FLOWN to you? First-class? Argh!

Bono, you’re not Christ, there, buddy. You gave yourself a name that is kind of like “boner” but nowhere near as amazing or interesting. Playing charity events for Iraqis with Pavarotti is not cool. Flying all over the place to look at starving orphans is sucky, and isn’t doing a single thing to change the world. No one cares when you cry about the IRA. Also I think your glasses look stupid.

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