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Sitting in the Lobby

Comfort InnIt should have been a fairly simple process. Rent a car, drive to pick up Jillian’s 80-year-old grandmother and 22-year-old sister, drive to West Springfield, MA, and attend her aunt’s wedding. It has already been way more complicated from that, and the ceremony itself hasn’t even happened yet. First, after walking the two miles downtown to rent the car, I get there to discover I have left my wallet at home. So I leave Jillian in the park, and RUN back to the house, because by now we are already late, and Jillian’s nan gets antsy if we are not there when we say we will be. So I RUN back to the car rental place, sweating up a storm, and we learn that because there are no economys left, we will have to be free upgraded to a Jeep Liberty. Suh-WEET.

But wait, there’s a problem. The cheerful chub behind the desk runs my driver’s license, and announces that it has been declined. That’s probably because I don’t have, nor have ever had, a driver’s license, instead flashing my learner’s permit like the proudest of 15-year-old kids. So, I don’t have a license, and Jillian doesn’t have a credit card, and this is not a combination of credentials that Budget will accept. UNLESS…

“Wait a minute, you mean I can’t front the deposit on my wife’s car rental?”
“Oh, well…I guess I can override it. I mean, you have totally different last names…”
“Ha, I know, it’s been a crazy couple of days…we haven’t even had time to get our real rings yet!”

Man, that diamond on Jillian’s finger just keeps surprising me with its handiness. So, long story short, through a series of lies regarding our marital status, we got the car, and ZOOM, were back to the house to pack for a weekend trip in about 5 minutes. Now, let me tell you, this is the weirdest kind of packing you can ever do, as you find when you finally get to your destination. Sure, I remembered my Nintendo DS and recharge cable, but I didn’t bring toothpaste. Or a change of socks. Or, most importantly, the power cable for my laptop.

So, after a little scotch and rehearsal dinner last night, here I am in the dining area of the lobby of the Comfort Inn. After seeing the chaos of the home scene of the bride, I decided last night to extend my stay here another night, rather than bunk up with the whole fam at her house. Unfortunately, the person working the desk last night didn’t make any note of it, so there are currently no rooms available. I have been assured that they will get a room clean as soon as possible, but in the meantime, I am sitting here, surrounded by drums of Frosted Flakes and bad coffee, watching my laptop battery slowly die away while Jillian is off with the other bridesmaids getting what I am sure will be a most sophisticated updo. THere’s an ice-skating rink across the street; maybe I’ll go and glide my afternoon away.

All things considered, though, I am happy to have a little alone-time. Today is going to be crazy, and I need to conserve the energy required to try and be polite, make witty banter, avoid Jillian’s grandmother (whose biggest concern seems to be the status of my facial hair), meet new members of Jillian’s family, and generally be the charming fellow I am. Pictures to come. Wish me luck.

There Are 4 Responses So Far. »

  1. Good luck. You’re a better man than I. Congrats on your new marriage of convenience at the Budget.

  2. Glad you received care package and liked them. Also glad Millie’s stitches are out and she has received 1st shots. Who’s caring for Ed & MIllie while you’re gone, or did you take them with you? Hope the rest of the trip goes better! (You startled me for a minute. I thought you had slipped your wedding in already!)

  3. Don’t worry. Their awesome friend Lauren is filling them with turkey in their absence.

  4. This is the first time I’ve laughed in days. Being back home and getting socked with technology meetings does not strike me as even possible at the moment, so seeing your equally improbable life combinations made me very very happy!
    Love you, and see you in only a few!

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