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Ode to Illicit Mayonnaise

MayonnaiseYesterday, Jillian and I made our way out to Progreso for a quick lunch with Louise, Deinah, and Michael, three plucky Canadians who are readers of this blog, and credit us with posting, “the Internet’s only pictures of downtown Chelem.” Like a lot of dissatisfied souls in North America, they, too are getting ready to make the leap, and we met at Buddy’s to have lunch and compare notes. Like us, they have been on a whirlwind trip, staying only a week, during which they are trying to figure out where to buy, the cost of living, and their timeline for moving. A daunting task, to be sure, but we’re sure they will make it work.

They were also kind enough to smuggle in four prime cans of solid white albacore, complete with a sidecar of squeezable Hellman’s Blue Ribbon. Now, I don’t care what anyone says. Even if you manage to find mayonnaise not enhanced (???) with lime, it just isn’t the same. So needless to say, we were floored by the kindness of this gesture. Though I think I may have lost a can of tuna on the bus, a crime I will never forgive myself for, and though we had eaten a hearty lunch, I immediately made a tuna sandwich on arrival back at the apartment. Without exaggeration, I can easily say that the consumption of this sandwich was nothing short of a religious experience. So much so, I have even composed an award-winning poem:

Tuna salad, egg salad,
Mayonnaise pies and tarts
Our neighbors to the north
have warmed our hungry hearts

With their smuggled treat
of soft, fluffy, white,
Even in this heat,
smooth condiment delight.

Eggs, oil, emulsifiers
these ingredients combine,
bologna, chicken salad,
your pleasures wholly mine.

So thank you, Canadians
we cheer with heartfelt glee,
for not only did it make it in,
godammit, it was free.

So thank you, new friends, for an exquisite lunch and some great conversation. We will be neighbors, soon, and we look forward to more laughs. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go put together a mayonnaise consumption timeline, so I can make this bottle last until our next trip to the States.

There Is 1 Response So Far. »

  1. I wondering when there will be an “Ode to Lauren Weibrecht”

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