Contributors

Name:Jillian
DOB: 11/06/78 Occupation: Dilettante
Beverage: Anything Bubbly
Turn Ons: Vespas, Bullfighting, Decadence, True Romance
Turn Offs: Chicken Omlettes, Fetus in Fetu, 9-5, Velvet
Hobbies Smugness, NIA, Wearing Boots, Looking & Thinking

Name: Malcolm
DOB: 05/25/78
Occupation: Designer
Food: Beef
Beverage: Maudite
Measurements: 36-24-36
Turn Ons: Coney Island, dive bars, XTREME tubing, graphic design, other people's dogs, stupid hats, strategy games, peachcake, pixel art, knife fights
Turn Offs: Leaving the house, driving cars, my own smoking, strangers

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June 30, 2007

Liverpool Will Deliver Your Appliances in 28 Days

Liverpool is a pretty great, outrageously overpriced department store in the grand old style of Bullocks or Macy's circa 1980. It is a great place to go when you just need a bit of a mini break from Mexico, to surround yourself in import foods, peculiar furniture, shiny, shiny electronics, and wealthy Mexicans. It is also the only place I have found to get a bottle of Belgian beer.

We bought all of our appliances from Liverpool, an announcement that elicited plenty of laughs from our crew of workmen. What kind of crazy American would make such major purchases at such a notoriously overpriced place? Because, one hopes, that paying premium prices would guarantee premium service. In Liverpool's case, not so much.

We purchased a new refrigerator and stove for our house in Chelem on June 1st, paying by check. We were told, at the time, that the check would take 7 days to clear, and then be delivered that week on a Monday (since Liverpool only makes runs to Chelem on Mondays), at a cost of 100 pesos extra. All perfectly reasonable, we thought.

The promised date came and went, and we called every couple of days all through June to try and figure out just where our appliances were. First, they were in the warehouse. Then, they had the fridge but not the stove. Just this last Monday, the 25th, in the middle of moving, I even saw a Liverpool truck and asked the driver if they had a delivery for me. Nope, nope, and nope.

So I did what anyone would do...I handed the whole problem off to my muchacho. I don't speak enough Spanish to express emotion properly, so I told Marcello to be sure and let them know I was angry. He called yesterday morning, told them that he worked for me, and he wanted the appliances delivered that day (Friday). They explained that they only make trips to Chelem on Mondays. Marcello responded that, instead, if the appliances weren't at my house in two hours, he was going to call the police (!!!). Sure enough, not two hours later, there they were, shiny, spiffy, and brand new. Today, the gas lines and water lines get run to the new machines, which means I could possibly be eating chili by tomorrow.

The moral of the story? It's not that you should avoid Liverpool. They have some lovely things, really. Just make sure you have a native Spanish-speaker onhand to threaten them with police action when they give you the runaround.

June 28, 2007

Been a While Since I Rapped At Ya

Whew! It's been a long time, hasn't it? The big news, of course, is that after seeing Jillian off to America on Monday morning, I made four Jeep trips back and forth to Chelem and moved into our new house. So far, the living is pretty rough, as I have no appliances, no hot water, no phone, and no internet. Hell, I don't even have a bed or a window up in the kitchen, which means I get eaten alive by mosquitos as I sleep in my hammock in the living room. There are flashes of struggle and questions, including, "Where is that water coming from," and, "What's the deal with all these gnats in the toilet?" Mixed in with that, though, are some truly delicious moments. Here's the breakdown of how I've spent my week so far:

Monday
Spent the entire day shuttling our bizarre collection of odds and ends from the house in Progreso to the house in Chelem. My cell phone falls to the ground and explodes. One water cooler, one television, a parasol, and a giant painting of Cervantes later, and the work was done. It only took four trips, which the Jeep handled with aplomb. My parents, exhausted from their day of helping, took the Jeep back to Telchac Puerto, and we agreed they would pick me up at 9:00 in the morning to take me into Progreso to buy a wireless card, so that I can work all week in the new house.

Spent the evening wandering around the property, thinking about new projects and improvements. Did some halfhearted unpacking. Olivia very excited and confused, running up and down the beach and eating rotten fish, which she then spent the rest of the evening vomiting. At day's end, sat on the front deck with feet dangling over the side, drinking a beer and watching the pelicans crash into the ocean not 10 feet from me.

Tuesday
5:50 AM: A black bird who walks around my deck at sunrise saying "MEK!" wakes me up.
8:40 AM: I discover that walking into town is the closest place to buy a cup of coffee and a pack of smokes.
9:00 AM: My parents have not arrived.
10:53 AM: Maybe they assumed I wouldn't be up and are waiting until later.
11:14 AM: Wait, did I explain that I wanted them to pick me up?
12:40 PM: They probably drove my Jeep off the road into the mangroves, and I have no way to call them because my cell phone shattered yesterday.
1:14 PM: I've gotta get out of here and find some Internet. There's bound to be an Internet cafe in Chelem.

And so, with great hope in my heart, I strapped my laptop bag on and walked through Chelem, until there were no more buildings. And no cafes, except for a new restaurant called, somewhat unfortunately, "Gringos." More on that in another entry. By afternoon, the breeze had totally quit, and I was sweltering in the late afternoon Mexico heat, so I powered home and took my first cold shower in my new house. The water pressure was great, and the whole experience was pretty delightful. The most functional bathroom right now is the tiny one in the bedroom, where it doesn't matter that I don't have a shower curtain, because the whole room is tiled. I can clean myself and the entire bathroom in one fell swoop.

As I sat and stewed all afternoon, wondering if anyone I loved was still alive (since I had heard from neither Jillian or my parents), it occurred to me that Gringos was the most likely place in town to have Internet access. Hadn't they said so in their radio commercial?

5:44 PM: Maybe if I turn the radio on, I'll get lucky and hear that commercial again.
5:54 PM: Just, like a prayer, your voice can take me there, just like, a muse to me, you are a my-ster-y
5:58 PM: What the hell is this box of wires?
6:12 PM: I am lonely.
6:14 PM: Maybe I'll go to Gringos and have a burger and ask them if they have Internet.

So I walked back into town for the third time that day, this time leaving my laptop at home. I had a perfectly serviceable hamburger (full review coming soon), and learned that, YES, they are the only place in town with a high speed satellite Internet connection. Score! This means that, in addition to finding out what has happened to my whole family, I can have a normal work week. Not to mention lots of eggs and coffee. I plan to return in the morning, armed with my laptop and a desire for breakfast. For now, I am exhausted, have unpacked nothing, and return home to my dog, my pelicans, and my hammock. The pelicans are still crashing, meaning all is still right somewhere.

Wednesday
4:00 AM: I dream that I have a very violent and bloody testicle injury, no one cares, and I am for some reason forced to climb to a hospital, aggravating this injury. It appears I am experiencing some anxiety that I am not addressing.
5:50 AM: MEK! MEK! MEK! The arrival of my black bird friend tells me its morning.
8:00 AM: I strike out down the road, to finally connect to the internet and learn what is happening with everyone I know.

Emails from both my parents and Jillian tell me that:

1. The Jeep had broken down the night before, and my parents had to walk the remaining mile or so back to their house, much to the utter joy of my mother.
2. Jillian had arrived safely, and was readjusting to life in the States.

This was a relief...at least I knew what was going on and could plan accordingly. I fired off a few emails to people, ate some eggs, and tried to get home to work offline before the heat set in. Shortly after arriving back home, my parents arrived. The fuel pump had gone on my car, which they had gotten fixed for about 300 pesos. It is now running like a champion again. I ran around and did errands with them all day, which put me in a rather cranky mood, so I dropped them off at home and went back to my house.

With my Jeep parked in the driveway, and a much increased sense of mobility, I settled in comfortably. The night ended the way every night has so far this week: Sipping beer, looking at the ocean, and watching the dog eat stinky things she finds on the beach.

It was a rocky start, but moving into a new place always is, no matter its level of readiness or completion. I am both disappointed and thrilled that Jillian is not there to experience it with me. While I miss her mightily, and we have already sworn never to do this again, roughing it by myself is a lot easier. When she returns at the end of July, everything ill be ready, there will be paint on the walls, and maybe even a place to sit down. Next week, I will have all of the utilities set up, and things will start to return to normal. In the meantime, if you don't hear from me, don't worry...I'm probably eating beans, drinking beer, and staring at the contrast between a vast ocean that belongs to no one, and a house that is, for the first time, all mine.

June 21, 2007

Only 15 Days Left to Vote

There's no denying it, the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World kicked ancient ass. You had your Hanging Gardens of Babylon, your Colossus of Rhodes, the Lighthouse at Alexandria and of course the Pyramids at Giza.

But we're seven years into the 21st century and it's time to get serious about wonders and shit. Make way for the New Seven Wonders. These babies are boss and not just because they are marvels of human innovation, objects of grandeur, beauty, and mystery.

This is truly democracy in action. The people who selected George W. Bush and blue M & M's now get to use our collective wisdom to decide which structures are totally cool and which ones should get turned into an Arby's.

Rock the vote.

In case you're wondering I am voting (in random order) for:

Chichen Itza (Yucatan represent)
Easter Island Heads
Great Wall of China
Hagia Sophia
Petra
Stonehenge
Pyramids of Giza (kickin it old school)

p.s. That Arby's site is kind of sick, right? maybe it wouldn't be so bad...

June 18, 2007

Getting Closer Still

We are creeping slowly toward completion of phase one of our house reconstruction in Chelem. Unfortunately, It doesn't look like Jillian is going to get to move in before she returns to the States for vacation, but that will probably be for the best. The first few weeks of living there will probably be pretty rough, and this way, when Jillian returns, she can move into a truly complete home. Turns out she's a stickler for things like "having a bed" and "hot water," but fortunately, they have those things in Connecticut (if I recall correctly). So while she's gone, eating Thai food and watching TV, I'll be here slaving and painting away until I join her there at the end of July for the US portion of our wedding celebrations.

In the meantime, the heavy lifting is almost done in Chelem, and we are making our final payments today to the electrician, the plumber, etc. We thought you might like to see where things are right this second. I apologize for the web album, but I am feeling particularly burnt out lately. Check out the new progress here, and when the construction is totally wrapped next week, I will post side by side before and after comparisons.

June 15, 2007

The Tide is High But We're Holding On

Allow us to fill you in on our progress toward a life more awesome.

The kitchen floor is tiled as are the counters. We had originally wanted to do polished concrete countertops such as we'd seen the in the gorgeous restored Colonials in Merida Centro. There was some confusion regarding the materials and labor which requires a very skilled craftsman, according to Marelo; we were given a quote much higher than what was anticipated. What we determined was that context is important in design (duh). What works in the city is not necesarily appropriate for the beach due to both environmental factors and function. For these reasons we allowed ourselves to be talked into tile for the long counter space. We selected a neutral color and it is going to look quite fine with our appliances and the white walls. The appliances are still in a warehouse somewhere in Mexico but should be on the truck Tuesday. Our 90 year old door maker has hung the three ornate cedar doors and the electrician fitted the ceiling fans. The plumber has not yet been out to put in a hot water heater and we need ot have one more small window made plus protecatadores for the kitchen. The work must be finished, the house cleaned and painted before we can move in. We had hoped to leave Progreso yesterday. But since it's some kind of universal rule that construction never ends on time and everything goes over budget we're trying to remain calm. Actually, we did pretty well with the money we had to spend and I think everything is going to look great. What a transformation. We still need to set up internet service and get some essential furniture in there. Photos this weekend. Man, are you guys going to be amazed.

We concluded that it is best to stay here in reltive comfort until I leave for the States in a little over a week. While I'm away try and check on Malcolm periodically, who will be sleeping in a hammock and bathing in the ocean.

June 13, 2007

10 Things You Can Do to Be Happier Right This Minute

  1. Sing to your dog
  2. Stop commuting
  3. Drink Purity Organic lemonade
  4. Watch a film by Quentin Tarrantino/Robert Rodriguez
  5. Watch a film with Ethan Hawk/Julie Delpy
  6. Sing along to You Know I'm No Good
  7. Read Vanessa's blog
  8. Dance along to Rehab
  9. Eat Dominos pizza
  10. Don't feel guilty
  11. Watch the Hopper slideshow

June 12, 2007

You Can't Go Home But You Can Drop Out

I have been in Mexico every day since December 17th. Oh, except those two spectacular days we spent on a bus in Belize. Six months without respite. It's hot, getting hotter, downright tropical you might say. Every day you have to speak in Spanish and know that you are not communicating as gracefully and effectively as you do in English. And things are getting very tense and complicated with our remodeling project. There is more tile to buy and plumbers to pay and appliances that should have been delivered already. Car trouble doesn't help, neither does having your computer swiped. Sometimes living abroad is a hot mess. And you just want out. I want to be in New England where things make sense.

In two weeks I will be. I leave for an almost monthlong vacation in Connecticut with my friends and family. I am going to go to the beach and to museums and restaurants I love and drive along familiar roads through woods. We're building a life here, poco a poco and I know that I will be lonely for it. Malcolm won't join me until the end of July and of course it will be weird to not be with him every waking hour. I think we're starting to look sort of similar so a break may be good. I will miss Olivia and palm trees and being in our new house. The Sound is not the Gulf and this is where my my heart is. I know that I will return refreshed and ready for the continuing challenges and joys of dropping in.

June 09, 2007

Super Salads, a Lunch Ikea

The fare at Super Salads is more clean than delicious, picture perfect rather that tasty; it offers the opportunity to improve your vegetable vocabulary where you get your midday fuel.

Located on the Paseo de Montejo in the north of Merida, the space is a delight of blonde wood, produce inspired art and the kind of "modernist" sensibility you feel in a very optimistic museum of the future.

I started with a smoothie, the bananaranja - say that three times fast. Made with banana, orange, and strawberries, it was fabulously thick and yummy. They also offer licuados, juices and agua frescas.

The menu is a paper and pen choose your own toppings thing. There are wraps, sandwiches, soups and salads (natch). You can do a half sandwich combo and choose from a list of salads already constructed or build your own.

Malcolm and I worked together to get what we wanted on our salads. I know the word for most everything I like (in the veggie department) but was stumped by apio (celery), and cangrejo (crab). The Campriano sandwich features lomo as well as ham and cheese. I still don't get it. I had plain grilled chicken on the side and a light cilantro dressing that tasted not unlike low calorie booger snots. Malcolm's spicy ranch was good.

All the food was very sterile and pleasantly presented on big yellow plastic plates with little matching ramekins. The food was fresh in a sort of Platonic ideal sense. Kind of like food in the 28th century after we've long destroyed the environment and scientists recreate the look of vegetables from books and films without ever really capturing what is unique and juicy about each thing.

They also have a list of coffe drinks and desserts. Coming soon (Proximamente) Italian pressed sandiwches. A flat screen TV displayed scenes from Animal Planet or Discovery. nice touch.

Now that we know what not to get (pickles) and what we'd like to try (cream of brocolli soup) we will go back for a more calculated attempt at a satisfying meal. It's bright, fun, fresh and fairly easy. I would ask that they change their name to Totally Acceptable Salads, Etc.

June 08, 2007

In Loco Parentis

Vladimir: Well? Shall we go?
Estragon: Yes, let's go.

Passed the afternoon yesterday at the Merida aiport waiting for Mac, Penny, Boatsie and Sadie, who never arrived. They are all happy and well at the airport Radisson in Atlanta.

We had wine and nachos at the bar and read People and US Weekly (the airport has the best selection and prices on English language magazines and books). Secrets were revealed, mysteries solved.

Then we moved the party to the arrival area where we met by chance our Canadian friends Louise and Deinah and watched as three Fans fawned over a little nugget of a guy who as it turns out was Jake Lloyd, who played young Anakin Skywalker in Episode 1.

We are trying harder to have fewer expectations, because you never know what the day has in store. It was a futile but fun Thursday in Mexico.

June 02, 2007

To Have and to Have Not: A Socio-Economic Flip Flop

When you move to New York right out of school, Brooklyn actually, Sunset Park to be specific, you begin to realize how little you can live with/on. Oh, we had food and furniture, but there were very few splurges. We hardly went out that first year and we grew sad (for many reasons).

You are not alone as an out of work artist, newly self-emloyed designer, intern/assistant doing something cool, or working for a non-profit, earning less than the people you are helping. The kids make it look cool. You eat the prepared fruit from the Korean deli and shop for rad stuff at thrift stores. But if ever you venture outside your hipster nest - above 14th street, some might say - you discover that other New York: Manhattan, and remember that you, adrift are poor, and your things seem so shabby in the glare of Grammercy Park. Maybe you've moved to a better neighborhood in Brooklyn and you love that you're surrounded by BoBo bakeries, Bugaboo strollers, and bars with (ironic) Bocce courts inside. But you're not quite there, you're faking it somehow, which is crazy because you're so much more solvent than you were in the beginning, but it doesn't matter. This city will eat you alive. Your cards are almost maxxed and it's time to make a choice.

At that point you either have to 1) get serious, or 2) get out. I obviously chose the latter.

We had a slow start, but most people would not arrive in foreign country with a few thousand dollars in their pocket and a vague notion of doing something (great). It's not for everyone. I'm lucky I managed to hold on tight to Malcolm's coat tails, but I was chewing my hair all summer and making bad decisions. It was crazy-scary.

We took our time, looking, earning slowly, figuring out how money works (I mean how it spends, how it lasts here, since they've pretty much use the same cash for goods things we've got up North) and getting acclimated. I am only now beginning to understand how curious we appear as foreigners (extrajeneros) to some of the denizens of this small port town. I was culturally naive (even though I'd lived in NYC which makes you think you are exempt) leaving my shoes outside and being surprised when they were stolen.

This is not to say we are A Major Thrill. There are loads of very affluent Mexicans here in the summertime whose consumption is riotously conspicuous. This is also not to say that there is a sad poverty thing happening all over here. Certainly there are very ugly, unhappy pockets, but most people seem to be having a pretty good time. But we are Americans and for that mere fact we stand out and we are young and that means we have more shiny bleepy things than some of the oldens. (not all of you, don't get tetchy). It is a new and unusual position for me. You can't help but look and compare, to define what you have based on what you don't and always sort of envy what's on the other side of the glass topped wall.