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Whatever Dude, We’ve Got Crabs

It is my understanding that, in America, when people become first-time homeowners (or “homos,” for short), there are sometimes a lot of unexpected critters and wildlife that have to be dealt with. Often, I am told, people buy homes in the States, only to find they must have the entire structure tented and sprayed for termites. Or what about when you move into a new apartment, and find an army of cockroaches parading out of the drain in the sink at 5:00AM? Or in the northeast, birds pecking holes in your roof? All nuisances, to be sure.

In Mexico, we are not without our share of animal and insect pests. Right here on this blog, we have documented our encounters with man-eating cave crickets, ants that cannot be stopped using conventional means, and scorpions the size of your palm (but much less friendly). But what we never expected to be included with our house on the beach, was CRABS.

CRABS! We heard a rustling in the kitchen, but didn’t pay much attention. It wasn’t until Jillian exclaimed, “Malcolm, there’s a crab in the kitchen.” For a minute, I couldn’t see it, I think because that sentence makes no sense, and my brain was refusing to accept it. But after looking a little closer, sure enough, there WAS a crab, a big blue crab, at least eight inches across, claws to the sky in an effort to threaten me. Panic ensued; a pan was produced for scooping, which didn’t work one bit. Finally, I grabbed what was left of my wits and a pair of long tongs, picked the fellow up, and tossed him out into the surf, where I can only assume he rejoined his mates for a strategy session…for the next strike.

It still beats cockroaches. Brrrrgh.

There Are 10 Responses So Far. »

  1. I’ve heard of this before, the onslaught of crabs attacking homes in droves.
    I’m kind of surprised you didn’t serve it up for supper. A crab dinner costs big bucks and you guys had one walk right into your kitchen, just begging to be cooked. You didn’t even have to go to the local market to BUY it.
    I think maybe Mexico is making you guys very laissez faire. Just say’in it “might” be a possibility. lol

  2. Dude, it’s like dinner just appears in your kitchen, why didn’t you scoop it up and drop it in some boiling water? I agree, I’d take a crab over cockroaches or RATS any day!!

  3. Not the first time though, eh? But I kid!

  4. yeah, I had crabs once. I just hit ‘em with this special shampoo called Pubic Pride…cleared ‘em right up.

  5. Mmmmm, it’s like that time when a t-bone steak was walking around in my kitchen…

  6. When we drive home at night we always have to look really close to see if the shapes crossing the road in our headlights are crabs or spiders. Both the same size. I pretend the spiders are crabs. Don’t want to think about those gigantic spiders out there.

    We have those crabs too. Are yours with one giant claw and one normal one?

  7. and yet another reason why i’m staying at the hyatt.

  8. Omg, I would have freaked out! I can’t stand spiders, and crabs look a bit like spiders…good thinking with the tongs. I had a weird snake in my garage last night, and thats exactly what I used to get rid of it, bbq tongs!! Great minds think alike.

  9. Dude! I would love to have a clambake walk right into my kitchen, I might even encourage the behavior by the local crustaceans. Just always have beer and butter on hand.

  10. Back in the surf?? I thought they were land crabs. Did you ask him if he could swim

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