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How to Not Be Mistaken for a Lady of the Evening (or late afternoon)

  1. Don’t drink alone in bars (even if you’re reading a Difficult Novel)
  2. Don’t wear cowboy boots with denim shorts (AKA the Britney dictum)
  3. Don’t buy wine, baby oil and boy shorts on the same shopping trip (even if those items are truly unrelated)
  4. Don’t wave. don’t even raise your hand above your shoulders. not even if there’s a bee on it. in fact, don’t move your appendages at all if you can help it
  5. Don’t wear hoop earrings
  6. Don’t do anything those old whores from Sex And The City might do (e.g., drink cosmos, call anyone Mr. Big)
  7. Don’t hang out by the Merida airport after 10 pm
  8. Don’t wear your bikini to the table
  9. Don’t keep the company of men who wear purple hats
  10. Don’t trade sex for pesos, no matter how good the exchange rate

There Is 1 Response So Far. »

  1. LOL- are you sure about #10? Because sometimes, when I walk by the peso exchange place, the rate for sex looks better than the rate for US dollars…

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