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We Are Pioneers

Malcolm and I moved far away to build a better life. While we do have family they are scarce and scattered and most of those individuals do not perform traditional roles in our lives. That’s ok. We’re a family now, the two of us; I am in the process of becoming a Bedell officially and I am using my new name at every given opportunity. I love it. I am so proud to become fully family with Malcolm.

Not that my own surname was easy to leave behind. You know, habitual readers, that it has been more than one year since our first wedding and quickly approaching the anniversary of our second. I hesitated to change, but only because the thought of leaving behind who I had been for 29 years was so complicated, and not because I could not embrace my future. I am now ready, committed and secure that I will not lose the person or personality I was. Those facts are irrevocable. Not only do I firmly believe in who I am but in my family; the Raucciness of myself is no longer a question or something to be denied. I have a family of friends who are continuing that good name and who ensure that I never lose the connection to those places, memories, character traits and ideals that I have not only been born into but have grown to love, appreciate and cherish. Maybe I needed to marry that given name more. Because being a Bedell was inevitable since September 1999.

Malcolm and I meant something going forward from the first night we met in a dorm at Albertus Magnus College. I can’t begin to understand what subtle forces brought us together but I know that we have not been much moved in our dedication since that night in September nine years ago. We could not be kept from each other. We did not choose to marry for many tumultuous years but our friendship did not fail to grow.

And the idea that we are building a very solid partnership is one of the few things I do not doubt and never really have. In moments such as these our differences seem negligible. Because we are chosen family we win and lose together. I am not saying this with the naivete of a newlywed nor the sagacity of one who has endured fifty years of marriage but as a soul who has found its mate and feels the security of that ephemeral pairing. We are made to be and what’s more, we revel in our good luck, and what’s more we work to preserve and augment the love that we have found. We set our own good luck, from what my love tells me, and much of me believes him and enjoys that volitionary state. We can make our own new life. We can find new territory and work within it, moving beyond it, daring fate to find fault. I am so confident, bold and proud. I am looking ahead, for the first time, to the next generation that we will create, with no one but us to stop or start us.

There Are 2 Responses So Far. »

  1. Jillian, it sounds like you are in a really good place. I am happy for both of you.

  2. hi malc, im coming in november as promised can you find us a cool villa in merida for 4 or 5?

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