After all my crying and complaining about our lack of a winter this year (10th warmest January on record), it has now been snowing for about two days. This has given Jillian and I ample opportunity to do what we do best; watch crappy movies (Into the Blue was amazing, on many levels) and entertain each other.

Here’s the view off our back fire escape:

And here’s Jillian, digging out:

Finally, in case you don’t have anything good and hearty cooking in the pot on this most blustery of days, may I suggest the following winter warm-up:

Malcolm’s Own “Kick Your Face’s Ass” Chili
1 lb ground sirloin
1 lb top round steak, cut into 1 inch cubes
1 Goya chorizo sausage (the bright red kind) finely chopped
1 large onion
1 red bell pepper
1 green bell pepper
1 ball of garlic
1-2 fresh jalapenos (to taste)
1 can whole mexican chilies
1 28oz can crushed tomatoes (with puree)
1 16oz can chopped tomatoes
1/2 can tomato paste
2 cans red kidney beans
1 tsp. cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp cloves
1/2 tsp cumin
salt and pepper (to taste)
1 square of baker’s chocolate (semi or unsweetened)
2 bottles of good, dark beer

1. Finely chop onion, bell peppers, garlic, jalapenos, and chilies. Cook in a few tablespoons of oil until onions become translucent. Pour into bowl and set aside.
2. Brown cubed top round in oil with salt and pepper. Set aside.
3. Brown ground beef and chopped chorizo. When meat browns, add cubed top round, and vegetables.
4. Add both cans of tomatoes, including all liquid.
5. Take break from opening cans, drink one beer.
6. Add tomato paste, and 2 cans red kidney beans. I usually drain one can, and include the liquid from the second can. It is an excellent thickener.
7. Add chocolate, all spices, and the other beer.
8. Simmer, covered, on lowest possible heat, 4-5 hours. Remove cover and cook until reduced to proper consistency, about 1 more hour.
9. Serve with a dollop of sour cream and warm flour tortillas. Ha-cha!

There you have it! This recipe was concocted through countless hours of trial and error while living in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, and I am releasing it to the world for the first time. You now know all my secrets. Enjoy the snow, and stay warm!