Just what in the hell happened to CafePress, and why is it so awful? With the notable exception, of course, of our three award winning shops, and of course a handful of others, almost every single design I see presented for sale on CafePress is an absolute abomination. This really got hit home for me today after I received an email about a new site, imaginatively titled “CPDesignRank.” The idea is simple, a Hot-or-Not approach to ranking the designs in the CafePress database. All with the owner’s affiliate link all cleverly built in, of course. I must admit, my first thought was, “Damn, good idea. $79 dollar script and a little imagination, this kid might be on to something.”

And don’t get me wrong…it is still a good idea, and if CPDesignRank can convince users they are providing a service rather than just shilling for affiliate sales, it will probably catch on and make the owners a decent amount of money. After flipping through the rankings, though, a fact I had always known became even more painstakingly clear. There is no one in their right minds who would buy any of these t-shirts. Every t-shirt currently for sale (again, with a few notable exceptions) is either weirdly military themed, a photograph, a horrible drawing, or a tired slogan. Oh, you need a sample? Here we go, conveniently linked so you can see for yourself:

	Want to recreate this design? Open MS Paint. Select Airbrush Tool. Select System Red. Scribble like a toddler trying to form her first words. OMFG! YOU’VE GOT A SHIRT!
	What exactly does the artist think his target audience is, here? Is he trying to corner the market on “Otter Eating Own Foot” apparel? It’s one thing when you see a picture of someone’s dog on their shirt. But an OTTER, for chrissake? Got a picture of an otter? OMFG! YOU’VE GOT A SHIRT!
	Sticky fingers! Tee hee! Is it a commentary on how cool petty larceny is, or are we just talking about a frog with sticky, webbed feet? I’ll never tell! OMFG! YOU’VE GOT A SHIRT!
	In addition to being simply a piss-poor design, this has got to be one of the most moronic sentiments I have ever seen expressed in t-shirt form, and this comes AFTER having spent a few weeks visiting my parents in the deep south. Got some gun clip art? OMFG! YOU’VE GOT A SHIRT!
	Ooooh, fractals! FRACTALS! You would not BELIEVE how many people are slapping fractals on t-shirts and then acting like they’ve got a clothing store! Look, we all had a fractal flirtation…until we realized they were entirely mathematically computer generated and didn’t reflect an ounce of talent. But if you’ve got a fractal program? OMFG! YOU’VE GOT A SHIRT!
	What sass! This will no doubt be purchased by the one person in your school or office that no one, in fact, talks to. “Oh are you still an asshole?” Wait a minute, that’s actually way better. OMFG! I’VE GOT A SHIRT!
	The problem with just uploading any old piece of clip art into CafePress is that sometimes, it just doesn’t make any sense. Are we to believe that a mighty golfer, standing behind the wearer of this beautiful tee, hit a golf ball with such magnificent fury that it blew right through the person? OMFG! YOU’VE GOT A SHIRT!
	Enough already with t-shirts designed for children who are ostensibly proud that their parents are in the military, even though they probably don’t even know how to count to five yet. Great, kid, your Dad’s a Marine. Good job. He’ll probably be dead soon. Get a shirt that says that. OMFG! YOU’VE GOT A SHIRT!

There is a point to all of this, though. Through its open policy of letting anyone with an Internet connection and a pulse submit a “design,” what began as a great tool for independent designers is now pretty much a joke. Actually, it’s worse than that. Anyone serious about running a CafePress store has to go to great lengths to HIDE the fact that that’s what it is, because the CafePress logo alone scares off customers who are wary of garbage. What is the solution? At the end of the day, CP is still the easiest to get up and running with, with the greatest variety of items available for printing. However, their “base prices” continue to be terrible, and you will only make a dollar or two per item if you want to keep your prices competitive.

Luckily, there is competition on the horizon. Sites like Zazzle and Spreadshirt are just as easy to use, have an ever growing range of items available to print on, have lower base rates so you make more on each sale, and perhaps best of all…require vector-based artwork, ensuring that the marketplace won’t soon be flooded by scanned photographs of snowmen passing for t-shirt designs.

Are you running an independent t-shirt company, or a good CafePress shop? Be sure to leave a link in the comments.